Back To December
by dancingonathinline
Summary: This was it. This was possibly the only chance I would get to apologize. So I did. I told him I regretted leaving that night. That Mick only wanted me to make Mara jealous similar to what I did to Alfie at the beginning of term.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N (FEB.17.2012) Revising stories. Enjoy. Review. More info in the authors' note next chapter.**

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**_eAMBER'S POINT OF VIEW_**

**_I'm so glad you made time to see me  
How's life, tell me how's your family  
I haven't seen them in a while_**

It's been eight months since the end of term prom in December. I hadn't seen Alfie since then. We used to be so close now he barely had time to meet with me and it was the middle of August. I asked him about his family meaning our friends as they were staying with Alfie. I haven't seen them in a while.

**_You've been good, busier than ever  
We small talk, work and the weather  
Your guard is up and I know why_**

We chat for a bit about the average stuff. My summer job at my aunts' boutique, his at his dad's office. (A/N in this story Alfies' dad makes him work during summer) We even talk about the weather. It wasn't the same as when we were friends. He's putting up a fence around himself and I understand why.

**_Because the last time you saw me  
Is still burned in the back of your mind  
You gave me roses and I left them there to die_**

We last saw each other at the end of the prom... around the time I ran off with Mick leaving my date, Alfie and his rose corsage to ...well I didn't care what happened to them at that point.

**_So this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I'd go back to December all the time_**

This was it. This was possibly the only chance I would get to apologize. So I did. I told him I regretted leaving that night. That Mick only wanted me to make Mara jealous, similar to what I did to Alfie at the beginning of term. I apologized for saying I was better off alone when it ended between me and Mick a week after prom and Alfie asked for me back.

**_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine  
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright  
I go back to December all the time_**

I was wrong. I wasn't better alone. Being single left me with nothing but an ache for Alfies' love. All I wanted was a do over ... to go back to December and stay with Alfie and not go with Mick.

**_These days I haven't been sleeping  
Staying up playing back myself leaving  
When your birthday passed and I didn't call_**

He stayed silent through my apology. Not knowing what else to say I told him everything that had happened since that night. I told him I was turning into a bit of an insomniac. That I kept thinking about what would have happened if I hadn't left. The what ifs were what kept me up at night. When his birthday passed it took all my will power to keep from calling. I assumed he wouldn't want to hear from me.

**_And I think about summer, all the beautiful times  
I watched you laughing from the passenger side and  
Realized I loved you in the fall_**

I thought about telling him all the fun I had had when we were driving around last summer and how I realized he was my closet guy friend in fall and that I was starting to fall in love with him back then but I didn't notice. I thought about telling him this but I didn't because of what happened in winter.

**_And then the cold came,  
The dark days when fear crept into my mind  
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye_**

I got scared. I was afraid of what loving Alfie would do to my "reputation". So I stopped talking to him, started avoiding him eventually -after months of showering me with affection and suffering through various types of rejection -eventually he did the same with me.

**_So this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I'd go back to December all the time_**

"So here I am trying my hardest to gain back the best relationship I ever had."- I told him quietly.

**_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine  
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind  
I go back to December all the time_**

-Silence- Alfie

**_I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right  
And how you held me in your arms that September night,  
The first time you ever saw me cry  
Maybe this is wishful thinking  
Probably mindless dreaming_**

"I miss everything about you."- I pleaded- "Your skin, your smile, the comfort you gave when I first broke up with Mick, the first time you saw me really cry. Maybe my dreams are too farfetched this time."

-More silence- Alfie

**_If we loved again I swear I'd love you right  
I'd go back in time and change it but I can't  
So if the chain is on your door, I understand_**

"If you gave us a second chance I would treat you right Alfie I swear."-At this he lifted his head to look at me something he had been avoiding since this conversation started-"If I could change everything that happened I would but I can't. I understand if you never want to see me. I'll call the school and move to another house."-more silence but he was still watching me with cautious and curious eyes.

**_But this is me swallowing my pride,  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I'd go back to December_**

"I'm so sorry"- I said once more before getting up to leave-

"Wait amber."-Alfie said quietly from behind me. "Don't go. Don't leave the house, don't leave this shop, and please don't leave my side."-He said quietly-

I slowly walked back towards him before we knew it we were kissing in front of the whole coffee shop.

**_It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine and  
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright and  
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind and  
I go back to December all the time  
_****  
**That was four months ago. Its December again and were still going strong. Even though I would give up everything I had to change what happened this time last year I'm a bit glad it happened because it only made my love for Alfie and his for me ... stronger**.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors' Note**

**Hey guys. This isn't a new chapter to whichever of my first three stories you're reading. It's an authors' note to get you to click on it. I've edited the story you probably just read so the spelling and grammar is better. I'd appreciate if you would go back, scan through, and perhaps read one of my newer stories. I've been on this site for nearly a year now (February 24th is my "birthday") and I'd like to know what I've improved on and what I still need to work on. So yea review with feedback or PM me whichever makes you feel more comfortable.**

**Thanks,**

**angela1997**


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